Hello there. It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here. I don’t know what derailed me. I made excuses really. Sure I’ve been taking more photos and putting more energy into a real estate photography business I’m trying to grow. And yes we’ve been consumed with finding a new place to nest in because we’ve got a baby coming this August!
But all of those things aren’t valid excuses in my mind. I’ve woken up plenty of times with the intention to write. Many of those mornings I did write but I didn’t bother posting. Inspiration hasn’t really been there for me. In part, that is because I haven’t exactly been feeling on top of my game. It’s hard to offer value about seizing the day and conquering your dreams when you don’t feel like your living that authentically yourself. I sometimes wonder who I am even to write about these topics? I tell myself that only once I truly figure it out will I feel empowered to start writing about it.
But can these things ever really be figured out? Or is it a battle that must be fought everyday?
I’ve had my bouts of fear, doubt, resistance, and the usual mental hangups that will delay our dreams if we let them. But that’s the thing, it’s only if we let them. I’m a believer that we have to push through especially when inspiration isn’t there; especially when we feel doubt and fear; and especially when we feel resistance. These feelings will always come up and if we let them stop us, we’ll never accomplish much.
So here I am. I’m starting back up again. Why pay my monthly hosting fees if I’m not going to post? This isn’t the first long gap I’ve experienced since I started blogging well over a year ago. Every time it happens I face the choice to either keep on writing or take the blog down. The idea of ending here sickens me as I feel I’m barely even at the start of where I want to take this.
When I started this blog over a year ago, the idea was to document our journey as a family to create a life of freedom on our own terms. We still have a long way to go. Location independence isn’t even a goal for the present moment — especially with a baby on the way. Right now we are very location dependent. Location independence was a buzzword with the likes of digital nomad and to be honest I don’t even think on those terms too much anymore. What I want is a life that is meaningful and fulfilling. I want to create beauty. I want to feel that I’m continually growing and giving. I want a life filled with travel and adventure for my family. But I also want a beautiful property that we can call home. A place that we can put our love into and grow. I want community and connection.
It seems so far away but it all starts now with the little decisions we make each and everyday. I often times get overwhelmed and paralyzed by the many choices in front of me. Often times I don’t even know what the next steps are but I just keep trying one small action at a time. The idea of failure sometimes slows me down but I remind myself that failure is not the enemy— stagnation, boredom, meaninglessness, the un-lived life— those are the things that must be overcome. The only way to fail is is giving up or not trying to begin with.
So I’ll continue. Whether I feel inspired or not. Hello there, its nice to be back.